I used to be so simple, you know. Washing my face with Cetaphil and moisturizing with Aveeno. Now I have an 8-step nighttime regimen that includes copious spritzes of rosewater and a rose quartz facial massage. How did I get so bougie? Is it worth it? What's the point? (To answer: I lived in Paris, yes, and self-care)
My gradual upgrade in skincare has roots in having grown up with problematic skin. I had eczema, I was allergic to damn-near everything, I had bad breakouts, and, as a young girl, it really took a toll on my self-esteem. The day I realized I could do something to help and heal me, instead of being privy to my body's reactions, was as empowering as seeing women of color in a normally disenfranchised space. It started with trying out different face washes from the drugstore, new moisturizers, toners, make-up removers, and so on. I had such a time reading the back of bottles at the drugstore. Being 15 years old thinking "wow, the stuff in here will do that for me?". In retrospect, I was really becoming a polarizing figure in consumerism and falling for the industry set standard of beauty, but at the time, there was nothing more thrilling than feeling like I could be better. Eventually, none of these products did much for me. They were empty promises, and so I switched over to natural goodies. I began to moisturize with coconut oil, do essential oil blends, using African black soap, raw shea butter, you know the deal. It helped my skin tremendously. My eczema waned, and the act of self-care was a ritual that brought me a lot of peace. My beauty rituals became self-prescribed therapy on the road to self-love.
Through my travels, I got a taste of what drives us to these beauty rituals—from an unattainable need to be anyone else but who we are, to being products of colonialism, to just having a deep respect for the human body—which has brought me to a place of almost-peace. You know, where I love who I am but at the same time I wish my skin was clearer, my nose was smaller, and my lips didn't get so dry. So, this is where I want to meet full-on-peace with my beauty. Where I look at all the glory it brings around the world, and shift my lens from "I need to be better" to "I am at my best". May my beauty habits be dedicated time slots to the enjoyment of being me. A time when I owe nothing to no one and focus on the well-being of my God-gifted body.